New Life

I like to share an email I received from a very good friend of mine a few days ago. G and I were flatmates in what feels like a life time ago. He lives in Canada now and we have been in touch since he left Singapore for home.

This was what he said: "All memory is made of narrative..... so our memories are stories, not events, fluid, ever-changing... dynamic. I dig this. But there is also an urge to fix, the butterfly wings under pins, to fossilize, and it must be this process that often confronts me (with a smile) when I find you online, almost a new incarnation, a new story, a new history. This was my first thought about the from addict to counsellor thing...."

I found G's words powerful because of the truth behind the words - that our memories are stories. I am pretty certain that many of you struggling with any form of addictions have your stories to share, and that with every victory you come closer to a 'new incarnation, a new story, a new history'. Sometimes when people share stories about what I used to do, I struggle a little trying to remember because it really does feel like a lifetime ago. (The alcohol must have done a good job of killing a lot of my brain cells! lol!) I feel blessed to be living a completely new life and to feel so liberated. The memories of the past may seem distant but I can easily recall the feelings/emotions from the past and I am glad to say I do not feel the same now.

Oddly enough, my past life as an addict has been a blessing in many ways for without it I would not walk on the path I am on now. For this reason, I often tell my clients, the past has no hold on you unless you give it the power. You have the ability to create a new future, a new life starting from scratch because it is within our innate ability to do so. It is in our nature if we observe how nature works. Every day is a day of renewal, with each sunrise it is a new beginning. Even with each inbreath we are renewing ourselves physically. So no past is too dark or bleak that has the power to hold us back simply because we have the ability to renew ourselves even within our breath.

May you begin a new incarnation, and write a new story and a new history every day. (Thank you G for the inspiration for this sharing)

© 2009

Winners & Winners

I've been silent for a while as I've been busy moving into a new office/counseling space. It certainly took longer than expected, steps had to be taken to soundproof the room, it is still not completed but I have already started seeing clients in this new space. So Yay!

Anyway, recently I heard an short audio recording of an interview of a well known successful real estate guy and he said something like, in the real world there are winner and there are losers. He said this in the context of winning money and losing money in real estate deals. I thought about this for a while, and I have to disagree with him.

I believe that when people 'lose' money, it is still an investment, it is an investment on self - investing on lessons in life. It is like one is paying for these lessons just as one would pay for education. Personally I think that in order to succeed, one must have a right perspective to 'winning' and 'losing'. Ultimately, there are no losers, because everything that we decide in life, we stand to gain. We gain in experience, we gain in wisdom, we gain in love, we gain financially and so on. It is simply a matter of putting things in the right perspective.

This is the same as dealing with addictions. I know many people who seek help with their addictions have often been labeled as 'losers' by their friends or family. This has such a big impact on their consciousness that they tend to believe that they will not succeed in whatever they set out to do. And unfortunately, many allow their addictions to send them to their deathbed.

Recently, someone sent me an email to share with me how as a hard core addict he lost many things in life, but he has since turned his life around and is counting his blessings now. To me, he is a winner. He won on all counts despite having 'lost' many of his material possessions, and is obviously wiser, he gained better health and is still on the road to recovery.

For anyone out there still battling with your addictions, know that you will soon be on your winning streak, change the perspective you hold of yourself and you will change our life.

I cheer you on!

© 2009